Monday, October 8, 2012

The Only Political Post You Will Ever Need

(As a joke, I was going to leave this blank.  But since I haven't posted in four scores and seven years, I figure why not make a real post.  Then if it's bad, I'll just add sarcasm tags at the end.  Win-win!)

It is a great myth that mentioning the Democratic and Republican parties is somehow important in any discussion of American politics.  The diehards of both parties will claim that the other party is the root of all evils and their party is the second coming of Jesus.  Most news sources, however, still attempt to cling to unbiased reporting while they get derided by respective hardliners as both overly liberal and conservative in their own comment section where nobody notices the irony.  Then lastly you have the ever jaded cynics, so sarcastic that they make Stephen Colbert cry, who maintain that Democrats and Republicans are both sides of the same coin as they pull up some Mark Twain quote about how both parties suck equal amounts of ass.

I used to be part of that last group until I realized I haven't posted anything in months and thus must change my mind about something.  You see, Dems and Reps don't matter and it's obvious once you step back to appreciate the meta.  There are only two states in political nature: the status quo and the challenger.  Every election, people vote on their state of happiness and content, not on the candidate.  If they are mostly happy and their economic welfare has gone up since the last time they voted, the status quo gains in power and any challengers recede in power.  However, if the population feels they have been wronged, the status quo weakens as challengers strengthen.  If this trend continues, the states flip; the status quo becomes challenger and vice versa.  We see this in economic theory in the past 100 years and this is extremely applicable in politics as well.  The actual politics of both parties are irrelevant.  If people feel worse  in November than they felt in 2008, Romney will be president.  If people feel better than they felt four years ago, Obama's hair will get even grayer.

Just look at Greece.  The Neo-Nazi Party has a quarter of the vote.  And this is not two generations after fighting the German Nazis tooth and nail.  Are Greeks really getting into goose-stepping or are we just seeing the status quo losing power and fringe elements taking up the void, with the actual content of fringe parties irrelevant?

Do you remember when our economy was doing ok?  I had to pull out some VHS's to jog my memory.  Oh man the variety of issues that were brought up back in those days.  Gay marriage, abortion, stem cells.  Man those are bull market problems.  In a recession, nobody cares about any fetuses or men copulating; we are wondering if our budgets can support three meals and high speed internet for pornography.  Everything else is on the back burner.

As things stayed peachy in 2000, Gore won the popular vote, even with the charisma of a wake.  In 2004 saw the resumption of the bull market, Bush won a second term.  Inserting a joke here is unnecessary.  Then when a light wind blew down this house of cards in 2008, Democrats won everything and here we are today.  I only have one question: how does it feel?  Feel good?  Vote for Obama.  Feel bad?  Vote for Romney.  So this November, vote for whomever you want; there are no wrong choices.  As for myself, I'm writing in Ron Paul because I hate myself and I only want what I cannot have.